Parents need to chill. Sometimes when I’m in a public place, I hear parents go: ”Ok, we’re leaving now, bye bye, you gonna be here all by your self. ” Probably everybody has heard that at some point, it stuns me every time. I think these obvious lies are messing up a lot of good things. Apparently its a common thing according to the International Journal of Psychology as reported by the BBC.
Every time I hear a parent doing the ”I’m leaving" routine my thinking is ”what are they thinking?” Then I look at the kid looking at his parents, and depending on his age his reaction is either panic or ”yeah right!” Kids are not stupid, after a while they have it all figured out. They know mom or dad won’t leave. Basically it’s just a way for parents to undermine their authority. It’s the dumbest thing any parent can do. The horror of the kid before they figure it out is heartbreaking, the person they rely on for their survival just said she is going to dump him with some old lady, strangers, kidnappers and what not. This is serious emotional abuse, a child just might not have the ability to express her feelings but that doesn’t change the fact.
Why do some parents lie to their kids? I guess because they are stressed out and doesn’t know better. I can understand some things, like ”that is beautiful” when it really isn’t, but then again who can really say that’s a lie. Everybody knows parents sometimes needs to boost confidence, so its not really a lie is it? Its more an expression of a parent’s love and support for their offspring, and that’s a good thing.
The bad things are threats and scare tactics. I don’t think management by fear and parenting mix well. The problem becomes obvious when you consider that parenting involves a bunch of years and the individual being parented is changing and growing and maturing. That’s a problem since this means that a course of ”fear” always must be adjusted to the maturity and increased accordingly. Since this can’t be done, which most parents discover soon enough. The only thing that has been achieved is distrust, and then your are in a sticky place as a parent in the coming years, when its really going to matter.
Don’t lie to the kids. Tell the truth. It’s very simple and its better in the long run.
